


Where the Heart Is

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Meant to Be [4]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, Drama, F/M, Family, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-07
Updated: 2014-10-07
Packaged: 2018-02-20 05:17:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,665
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2416313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Today was supposed to be Jessie’s first Christmas as the happiest woman in the world.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Where the Heart Is

She woke first, before sunrise, and stared at the ceiling. Her heart was beating quickly; she knew how excited she was. Christmas had been her favorite holiday as a kid but one would be hard-pressed to find a kid who didn’t love it. As Jessie started to grow up, it lost some of its allure. She started to love it for reasons other than presents…snow, smells, decorations, specials on TV, and family.

When she turned 30, Christmas got sad. It reminded her that she was single with no dependents. When she shopped Jessie would see loving couples and excited children; it made her want to cry. She knew how blessed she was, especially once she had a nephew to spoil rotten, but something was missing.

Today would be the best Christmas ever. Jessie turned on her side, kissing Sam’s lips. He barely stirred so she kissed him again. Sam smiled, his arms sliding around her naked back and pulling her closer.

“Merry Christmas.” He whispered.

“I know it’s too damn early but I'm so anxious.”

“What are you anxious for, baby?” Sam moved one of his legs between hers.

“I honestly have no idea.”

“Huh?” Sam opened his eyes.

“Did I confuse you?” Jessie asked.

“I'm not sure. Is it still dark outside?”

“I should let you sleep. Just because I'm overexcited doesn’t mean I have to wake you up.”

“Too late,” He laughed a bit. “Good morning, Mrs. Kassmeyer. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” Jessie kissed him and cuddled closer.

“What time is it?” Sam asked.

“I don’t know but it’s early.”

“And you're anxious?”

“Christmas has always been my favorite holiday. When I was a little girl I could hardly sleep waiting for it to come. As I grew up it started meaning something different but it was still amazing. Then one year it turned on me.”

“It started to make you feel lonely instead of loved and blessed.” Sam replied.

“How did you…?” Jessie sat up some and looked at her husband.

“We’re connected, Jess, you know that. I know you here,” Sam put his hand over her heart. “And here.” His hand slid down to her sternum.

“You know me heart and sternum?” She couldn’t help but giggle.

“I know you heart and soul, Jessie. When I was a little boy and asked my dad where my soul was and he pointed to it. I've read a lot of books in my life but not one has refuted him.”

“If I had one wish it would be that your dad could see how happy we are.”

“Me too, Jess.” Sam’s breath caught in his throat. “I wish that almost everyday.”

She caressed his face, kissing him. Jessie moved onto her back and pulled him on top of her. The sleepy smile on his face made her heart sing. Sam placed gentle kisses all over her face.

“You wanna sweet thing?”

“Well, I did wake you up pretty early in the morning.”

“There is the possibility that you just wanted to talk.” Sam stroked between her thighs, shuddering when she did.

“Conversation over.” Jessie grinned, kissing Sam hard. Then she gave his shoulder a gentle push downward.

Christmas came early to Jessica Kassmeyer. Her husband was such a generous lover. His sensuous mouth, eager tongue, and nimble fingers brought her to the edge of oblivion a few times. Sam enjoyed hearing her moan and whimper. She couldn’t help but cry out when he finally let her fall.

“Oh God,” Jessie gripped the sheets. “Ohhh Sam!”

He loved to hear her cry his name. Damn near everything about Jessie turned Sam on but when she said his name like that…he went from Dr. Jekyll to Mr. Hyde. Well, as much of a Mr. Hyde as Sam Kassmeyer could become. Jessie wrapped her legs around him when Sam thrust deep inside of her. Her long moan was swallowed by his passionate kiss.

The heat of her pulled him in, over and over and over again. Sam took hold of her wrists, holding them over her head. Jessie never minded being held down, at least not by Sam. There was something so liberating in giving up enough control to be controlled. She trusted him with her surrender; with her body and soul.

“Ohhh God, dammit Jessie, you feel so good.”

Jessie kissed him passionately, struggling against the restraint of his hands. Sam wouldn’t give her an inch and she loved that. The first time it happened, an accident, it was some of the best sex of Jessie’s life. Now Sam was practically an expert on reading what would drive her insane with desire. Every time her body arched against his and Sam thrust, she practically sobbed. The strangled sounds of desire coming from her throat only made her husband hungrier. His body started to shudder as he thrust deep, deeper, so damn deep Sam was sure they were one being.

Jessie felt herself falling and it was amazing. Sam was with her, holding on tight, moaning her name into the crook of her neck. After a little while the room stopped spinning. Sight and sound came back to Sam; he was able to move his body onto the bed.

“Wow…wow.” She whispered.

“I’ll say.” Sam couldn’t help but smile. He pulled his wife into his arms and kissed her. “I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Sam. Go back to sleep; I woke you too early.”

“Don’t worry about it, baby, you made it worthwhile. You make every moment worthwhile.”

***

Sam shook Reverend Davison’s hand as he and Jessie stood in the vestibule of the Newberry Community Church. Sam had been attending the church his entire life, just as Jessie and so many members of their community had. Four churches served Newberry’s spiritual needs. There was St. Monica’s, the Catholic Church on the Hillsborough County line, Newberry Baptist, Newberry Community, which was non-denominational, and True Faith Episcopalian Church. It was rare to find too many empty pews on Sunday mornings and holidays. People weren't always going to church for God but they were always going to church. Better that than be talked about on Monday morning.

“It was a lovely sermon.” Sam said, his arm slipping around Jessie’s waist.

“Thank you. You two are still glowing…marriage agrees with you.” The Reverend replied.

“It certainly does.” Jessie said. “I'm a very happy woman, Reverend.”

“I'm so glad to hear that, Jessica. Sam, give me a call next week when you get some time. I'm really hoping you can sit down with some of the young guys. They're good boys but they can use some extra guidance. A man like you can be a real inspiration to them.”

“I’ll call you Reverend for sure. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.”

“How are you going to squeeze that in, Sam?” Jessie asked as he opened her car door.

There was snow on the ground but his Mustang had snow tires. The streets of Newberry wouldn’t be too much of a problem.

“What?” He got into the car.

“Finding time to talk to the boys.”

“I’ll make time. It’s just an hour or so out of my day but it could make a world of difference to a teenager who’s not sure what direction he wants to take.”

Sam pulled out of the parking space and sat behind Sarah Morgan’s Town and Country. If it wasn’t Christmas morning, despite the frigid temperatures, he and Jessie would still be in the vestibule or the parking lot chatting away with their friends and neighbors. Sam was glad for the reprieve today. Hotch was planning a guys’ night for sometime this week where they would get together at The Elbow, throw back beers and talk about life.

“I still find myself wondering about it constantly you know.”

“What's that?” He asked glancing at her. Traffic was moving now; he was able to pull out onto Hampton Circle.

“How you got to be so amazing.” Jessie replied.

“I think it was all the Wonder Bread I ate growing up.”

Jessie laughed as she reached out to stroke his arm. When he got to Hotch’s house on Hewitt Lane and parked the car across the street, his wife was able to kiss his lips.

“I love you.” She whispered.

“I love you too.”

Getting out of the car, Sam went around to open Jessie’s door. They held hands as they walked over to Hotch’s place. Sam rang the doorbell. They could hear Jack running to the door and could see his shadow behind the frosted glass.

“Who is it?” He asked.

“Aunt Jessie and Uncle Sam.” She replied.

The little boy literally whooped as he pulled open the heavy front door. He tried to open the security screen but had a little trouble.

“Daddy!”

“I'm coming, Jack.”

“The door won't open.”

Hotch emerged from the kitchen smiling at Sam and Jessie as he made his way to the living room. He lifted the lock, letting them in.

“Merry Christmas.” He said.

“Merry Christmas.” Jessie kissed his cheek and he kissed hers.

“Merry Christmas.” Sam hugged Hotch and then lifted Jack, throwing him in the air. “Merry Christmas, Jack Frost.”

“Merry Christmas, Uncle Sam.”

Sam and Jessie both covered him in kisses. Jack giggled wildly and when they put him on the ground he ran back into the living room.

“He made out like a bandit this year.” Hotch said. He walked toward the kitchen and they followed him. Sam stopped at the closet, taking his wife’s coat and his and putting them inside. “My parents, your parents Jess, and even Elizabeth Prentiss got him some great educational games.”

“Where is Emily?” Sam asked. He met up with them in the kitchen. Brunch was ready so he started gathering the dishes to set the table. This had been a tradition since Hotch and Haley moved back to Newberry from Durham. When he thought about how many years they'd all sat around this table, Sam couldn’t help but think he was an idiot. It was always the four of them; Hotch, Haley, Sam, and Jessie. Even after he and Kate got serious, they never spent this part of the day together. Strange since Haley was her best friend.

“New York.” Hotch replied.

“Why?” Jessie asked.

“She’d already made plans to spend the day with her father and stepmother. I didn’t want to pressure her into anything else. She’ll actually be back tomorrow afternoon.”

“I hope she's not driving.” Sam said. “There's going to be more snow.”

He went into the dining room to set the table. He could hear Jack in the living room talking to himself so he stopped to peek in on him. The little boy was playing with three action figures. Two were pummeling the one as Jack giggled.

“What are you doing, Jack Jack?” He asked.

“You and Daddy are pounding the bad guy.” He said. “You always pound the bad guy.”

“We sure do. You might want to go and wash up for brunch, kiddo.”

“OK, Uncle Sam.” He dropped his toys, running toward the stairs.

“Did your mother tell you?” Hotch asked as he and Jessie walked into the dining room.

“Tell me what?” Jessie asked. She felt on guard and she didn’t quite like it.

At that moment Jack came back into the room. He showed his father his hands, to prove he washed them, and then sat down at the table. They all sat down, Sam blessed the food as he always did, and they ate.

“Haley will be joining us for dinner tonight.” Hotch said.

“What?” Jessie looked at him. She thought about saying something, looked at Jack, and changed her mind.

“Steve will be joining us also.” Hotch said.

“Who’s Steve?” Sam asked.

“Mommy’s friend.” Jack replied. “He has a surprise for me, he told me last night.”

“They're going to be at my parents’ house?” Jessie asked.

“Its time for us to start moving on from everything that’s happened.” Hotch replied.

“No one asked me what I thought about it.”

“Jess,” Sam put his hand over hers.

“I'm not going.” She wanted to shout it but she spoke quietly not to worry Jack.

“We’re going.”

“Oh no we’re not Sam Kassmeyer.”

“So you're going to disappoint your father. After we just talked about my father this morning, you're not going to see your own on Christmas.”

“Excuse me.” She got up from the table and Sam sighed.

“Where’s Aunt Jessie going?” Jack asked. “Is she OK?”

“She’s fine, buddy.” Hotch said. “She’ll be back.”

“She's livid.” Sam whispered.

“I had to warn her Sam. I can't say I want to do this either but I know it’s for the best. Haley and I have been divorced for two years but we share a child. We have to so some things that make us uncomfortable for Jack’s sake. I really wish Emily was here but she’ll be back when Haley comes to pick up Jack on the 27th.”

“Oh that’s going to be interesting.” Sam ate his pancakes. “I should check on Jess.”

“Go, and I'm sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I want to say it’s no one’s fault but…it’s not your fault Hotch.”

Sam got up and went into the kitchen. As he walked into the room, Jessie grabbed a paper towel and wiped her tears.

“I'm OK.” She said.

He didn’t say a word; he just wrapped her in his arms. Jessie buried her face in his chest and willed herself not to cry. Today was a happy day; it was Christmas. She used to love her sister, they were good friends, and there was a part of her that wanted that again.

It just seemed impossible to go back from all the things Haley had done. She hurt Hotch so deeply and the whole family dealt with so much after she ran off with the Harvard professor. Why did they have to decide to reconcile on today of all days? Today was supposed to be Jessie’s first Christmas as the happiest woman in the world.

“I know something that will make you feel better.” Sam held her face in his hands before wiping her tears.

“Sam, there's a child in the next room.” Jessie managed a smile.

“Haha. I have a present for you. I want to see you smile, baby, I think its time to give it to you.”

“OK.”

“So you have to let me blindfold you.” Sam said.

“I'm going to remind you again that there is a child…”

“Jess.” He laughed.

“OK, I guess.”

“Hotch,” Sam walked back into the dining room holding Jessie’s hand. “I'm going to give Jessie her gift now.”

“Oh,” Hotch stood up from the table. “I have a bandanna you can tie around her eyes.”

He went into the kitchen and came back with the red scarf. Jessie closed her eyes, complying with her husband’s wishes.

“Whatcha doing, Aunt Jessie?” Jack asked. He was still eating breakfast.

“I have no idea Jack…I’ll let you know in a little while.”

They went to the front door, opened it, and Sam took her out on the porch. Jessie shivered from the cold wind.

“Are we outside?” She asked.

“Yes ma'am. Just keep your eyes covered and hold onto me.” Sam picked her up in his arms, walked quickly down the steps and across the street. He opened the door to another house, stepped inside, and put Jessie down.

“Sam?”

“I'm here, baby.” He took her hand. I'm taking the blindfold off now.”

“OK.”

“Merry Christmas.” Sam pulled the blindfold from her eyes and smiled.

“Um…” She looked around the empty house and then looked at Sam. “What is this?”

“Your Christmas present; one of your Christmas presents.”

“You bought a house?” Jessie asked.

“I bought you a house. I bought us a house to live happily after in.”

“We have a house, Sam.”

“What?”

“We have a house, and I love it.”

“But this house is in a nice neighborhood, closer to Jack and your parents. It has four bedrooms, two and a half baths. The backyard is huge and there's a tree out there just dying to have a tire swing attached to it. It’s the house of your dreams, Jess.”

“No,” She shook her head. “Its not.” She put her arms around Sam, kissing him. “I love you, I love you so much, but…we have a house, Sam. I love our slightly drafty windows and our circa 1974 furniture. We made love for the first time in that house…you proposed to me in that house. When the time comes we’ll raise our family in that house. Did you settle on this house?”

“No, not yet.”

“Don’t. Are you upset?” Jessie asked.

“All I want is to see you smile. If you're happy on Peach Street then that’s where we’ll stay.”

She smiled, hugging him.

“You are the best husband in the whole wide world. You're the best man, Sam Kassmeyer.”

“I love you, Jess.” He kissed her. Sam couldn’t believe she didn’t want this house. He really thought he was doing something when he shopped around for six weeks in the different middle class areas of Newberry. This was going to be a big deal and he wanted it to be perfect. Little did he know someplace else already was. Sam wasn’t always the sharpest crayon in the box. He was going to have to work on that.

“When the weather breaks,” Jessie said. “You and the boys can get together and remodel my house. I'm not opposed to that.”

“A little Extreme Makeover: Home Edition?”

“Mmm hmm. I have some good ideas that I’ll share with you.”

“OK baby.” Sam nodded. “If you want it, it’s yours.”

“Let’s get back to brunch. I just want to spend a little time with you guys before all hell breaks loose this evening.”

“We’re doing to get through this.”

“You think so?” Jessie asked.

“I know so. Jack will be ecstatic to spend some time with his mom today. Your parents will be so happy to have the whole family under one roof again and we will be there to make sure Hotch gets through it.”

Jessie nodded, feeling unsure. She and Sam left the house and went back across the street to their family.

***

“I think you and I need to talk.”

“I don’t think so.” Jessie put the pumpkin pie on the plate for her husband.

“You can't even look at me, Jessie.”

“What do you want from me?”

“I want to talk…I want to be sisters again. Our blood, our love, is supposed to come before all of this.”

“All of what? You made your decisions Haley and now you have to live with the consequences of them. That doesn’t have anything to do with me. I wanted it to be a happy day.”

“So my being here has ruined your day?” Haley asked.

“It’s not a highlight.” Jessie replied.

“I don’t believe you. I've never been anything but a good sister to you and this is how you treat me. You side with Aaron on everything and then you marry his best friend.”

“What do you think; I married Sam to spite you? Are you serious?”

“I know you had a few choice words for me when I went to be with Steve. I don’t know how you can look yourself in the mirror knowing you stole another woman’s fiancée.”

“I don’t have to justify myself to you. You say our love is supposed to come before all this. You didn’t even talk to me. You went around, smiling, like everything was alright. I talked to you the night before you left and you said nothing. I could’ve supported you but you said nothing.”

“I needed to deal with a lot of things.” Haley said.

“Well deal with them Haley, don’t let me stop you.”

“Hey, did…?” Sam stopped talking when he poked his head in the kitchen and felt the tension. He brought his whole body in. “Haley, I thought you went to the ladies room.”

“No.” It was all Haley said.

“Here’s your pie,” Jessie handed Sam the plate. “It’s time to go home.”

She walked out of the kitchen without looking back. Sam sighed, leaning on the counter and eating his pie. He looked at Haley.

“Is she going to hate me forever?” She asked.

“I should think not.”

“Do you talk about it, Sam?”

“Talk about what?”

“Me.”

“No.” He shook his head. “Jessie has her own mind and her own feelings about what happened between you and Hotch. I hope you're not trying to insinuate that I would attempt to turn her against you. That damage has already been done.”

“Did you tell you not to invite me to the wedding?”

“Haley, we sent you an invitation. I don’t know what happened to it but I put it in the mailbox myself. Anyway, nothing changed. We had the wedding at the park instead of the country club but the reception was still there. It was the same date I was going to marry Kate so you knew when it was. The door swings both ways; it always has.”

“Everyone thinks they can judge me without knowing what I was going through.”

“I do my damndest not to judge people. Jessie is hurt and she needs time. I'm not going to push her and you shouldn’t either.”

“Two years isn’t enough time?” Haley asked.

“That’s something you're going to have to ask her. I wish you two could be close again, I know how much your sisterhood meant to you. I just can't get involved. It would end badly for everyone.”

“You're going to take care of her though, right?”

“I will for all the days of my life.” Sam replied. “I have to go. Merry Christmas, Haley.” He put the empty pie plate and fork in the sink.

“Merry Christmas, Sam.”

He went back out into the living room where Hotch, the Brooks family, little Jack and Harvard professor Steve Prescott were trying to make nice. Jessie already had their coats. He and Hotch exchanged glances…Sam could already hear the conversation.

“It was a really lovely evening.” He said, kissing his in-laws’ cheeks.

Haley came out of the kitchen as Sam was shaking Steve’s hand. Then he hugged Hotch and palled around with Jack. He waved to Haley.

“Goodnight, Sam.” She said. “Goodnight, Jess.”

Jessie barely mumbled a goodbye to anyone and soon she and Sam were in the car. He started to pull out of the parking space when she told him to stop.

“You alright, baby?”

“I have to go back in.” She took off her seatbelt, got out of the car and went back into her parents’ house. Haley was sitting on the couch with Jack in her lap and Jessie sat beside her. “I'm still so mad at you,” She whispered. “But you are my sister and I love you. I don’t quite like you right now but I will always love you.”

“You have to let it go, Jess. It may not have happened in a way any of us find desirable but we have to move on.”

“When I'm ready to do that I’ll let you know.” She kissed Jack’s cheek again and left the house.

“What's happening?” Sam asked as he pulled out of the parking place and headed home.

“I said some of what I needed to say. Now I just want to go home, Sam.”

He nodded and didn’t say anything more about it.

***

It was quiet in their bedroom as Sam dressed in his pajamas. When they came home he indulged in more dessert before watching some TV with Jessie. Hotch called when he got home and they talked for a little while. Desi called and she and Jessie talked for a little while as well. He had no doubt some of the same subjects were touched on.

He really wanted to ask her if she would ever forgive her sister. Sam knew he had some feelings for his brother that he was struggling with and they didn’t come close to what Haley and Jessie were experiencing. Was asking her about it getting in the middle? Even if it wasn’t, they didn’t need to talk about it anymore tonight.

“We should start celebrating Boxing Day.” Jessie said, bringing him out of his thoughts.

“Why?”

“So that when Christmas sucks we can still have something to look forward to.”

“Well it’s a day of goodwill so we can celebrate it if we want to.” He said.

“Yes,” She nodded. “Next year, let’s start a new tradition.”

Sam sat down on her side of the bed and Jessie gave him a sad smile. He caressed her face.

“It should've been a great day for you. I'm sorry.”

“I have you and that makes me the happiest woman in the world. I have a seven foot tall Manitoba blue spruce Christmas tree and I got to spend the day with my nephew and the people I love. I shouldn’t complain.”

She and Sam had exchanged gifts that afternoon. After brunch with Hotch they went to the cemetery to lay flowers on Sam’s parents’ graves. Then they went home for a little while to relax. There he gave her a New American cookbook, a long weekend at a very famous New York spa for her and Desi, a bottle of Heaven perfume, an iPod Touch with all of her favorite movies and music on it, and a back massager.

He got the _Battlestar Galactica_ boxed set, a book on the history of Superman, some new sweaters, a gun cleaning kit, and a framed poster of _The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen_ , which was one of his favorite comfort films. Then they took a little nap before going over to her parents’ house. They were both glad Christmas was over and doubly glad they spent it together. Sam hoped for so many more Christmases to come. Soon they would have their own family and their own family dinners.

“I think I have something that might bring a smile to your face.” Sam said.

Jessie just reached out and hugged him. She needed to feel him; she needed to feel him close. He was amazing today…she might have gone off the deep end without him.

“Just being your wife brings a smile to my face.” She whispered.

“I'm so happy to hear that. But…” Sam reached into the nightstand drawer and came out with a jewelry box. “Let’s see if this works as well.”

“What is this?” Jessie was smiling already.

“Open it, baby.”

She took the top off and gasped. Then she looked at Sam.

“Oh Sam, it’s beautiful. It’s really beautiful.”

“I know that you're not a big jewelry wearer but I wanted to get you something that you could wear everyday. I thought nothing would mean more to you than to have my heart.”

It was a small heart of diamonds on a platinum chain. The necklace was simple, tasteful; nothing ostentatious ever appealed to Jessie. When he took it from its velvet bed and put it around her neck, he saw the smile.

“I promise to never take it off.” She said, kissing him.

“Never?” Sam asked. He was smiling too.

“Never ever. Come to bed, Chief Kassmeyer, I want to cuddle.”

“Yes ma'am.”

Sam got under the covers, turned off the lamp, and held his wife in his arms. They didn’t need to talk; they just needed to hold onto each other. Today had been a real struggle for Jessie when she was expecting it to be anything but. She didn't have to go through it alone though, Sam was there. He would be there forever. Even in the midst of all the jumbled thoughts and feelings in her head she knew how awesome that was. That was happiness.

***

  



End file.
